zomaar een verhaal :D

[Marieke]

Ik was begonnen met schrijven (het was bedoelt als huiswerk) Het werd langdradig.
Dusja dit is mijn eerste (begin van een ) Verhaal. Het heeft nog geen titel, het is in het engels


This is the story about Solange Willows, she is 21 years old and lives in Florida (U.S.A). In the daily life does she make beautiful things, she paints, write stories, plays piano. But what she even doesn’t know, is that she is a generation rogues hunter is.




Its morning, the sun shines lightly trough the window. Solange walks trough te house, than she see’s her mother sitting at the bench. ‘Good morning mother’. Her mother turns around, ‘Hello honey, do you know which day it is today?’. Solange was thinking, o yes, it was her birthday, she bekomes 21. ‘Its my 21st birthday, how cut i forget my own birthday’. My mother and i where laughing, ‘I have thought on it, close your eyes and walk with me to the kitchen’, i closed my eyes and my mother leads me to the kitchen, ‘Wait here, i must take something’. That was a moment i never gonna forget, i heard two gun shots. I bend down and crawl to a save place, i heard some voices, i gonna listen what they say.

[Piddle]

This is the story about Solange Willows, she is 21 years old and lives in Florida (U.S.A). In the daily life she makes beautiful things, she paints, write stories and plays piano. But what she even doesn’t know, is that she is a generation rogues hunter.




It's[het is een samentrekking van It en Is, waardoor de s met een ' gescheiden wordt] morning, the sun shines lightly tHrough the window. Solange walks tHrough tHe house, than she sees her mother sitting on the bench[couch is hier denk ik toepasselijker]. ‘Good morning mother’. Her mother turns around, ‘Hello honey, do you know which day it is today?’. Solange was thinking, o yes, it was her birthday, she beComes 21. ‘It's my 21st birthday, how could - vervoeging van can I forget my own birthday’. My mother and I where laughing, ‘I have thought of it, close your eyes and walk with me to the kitchen’, I closed my eyes and my mother leads me to the kitchen, ‘Wait here, I must take something’. That was a moment i never gonna forget, i heard two gun shots. I bend down and crawl to a save place, I heard some voices, I gonna listen what they say.

Ik heb even ruwweg wat dingetjes verbeterd; kan dingen over het hoofd hebben gezien.
Leuk geschreven, mooi begin ook al, maar let erop dat je in dezelfde persoon en tijd blijft schrijven, aangezien je wisselt van ik naar zij vorm en van tegenwoordige naar verleden tijd, wat nogal verwarrend is voor je lezer.

[Moontje]

Moon kan niet zogoed Engels $